


Sun and Moon

by peachysnoo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Immortality, M/M, Multiple Lives, multiple character death, trigger warnings!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:41:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28937934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachysnoo/pseuds/peachysnoo
Summary: Jaehyun had lived through countless centuries, where he always met Jungwoo, the reason why he still can't dieFour times Jaehyun had found Jungwoo in his arms and the one-time Jaehyun founds himself in Jungwoo's
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings, beware!

Jaehyun knew their love was forbidden, if Jungwoo’s father, the king will catch them Jaehyun will surely face death but he can’t help it, they can’t help it

Maybe if they can convince Jungwoo’s father that Jaehyun love him to death then maybe he’d agree to their forbidden love, If Jaehyun can show the king how much he truly loves the prince then maybe they can live the happily ever after both of them had been wanting to spend with each other but it’s not that easy

Jaehyun is a mere knight of the Kingdom, he’s not even a general nor part of the higher-ups, Jaehyun didn’t even know how his love affair with Jungwoo started, he didn’t even know that the prince would notice a mere knight like him but here he is, waiting at the hidden part of the garden in the palace where he and Prince Jungwoo always met, holding a couple of red tulips behind his back 

They’ve done this several times before, Jaehyun waiting for the Prince while Jungwoo tries his best not to get caught by the palace guard, with the help of his personal attendant and Jungwoo’s childhood friend Minhyung, Jungwoo had never failed to sneak out

Jaehyun had caught the sight of the Prince, looking as ethereal as ever under the moonlight, the moon gives Jungwoo a different kind of beauty, a different kind of glow, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but stare at the Prince every time

“Prince Jungwoo,” Jaehyun bows down while presenting Jungwoo the flower 

“Hyung...” Jungwoo says voice as soft and delicate as ever, “Jaehyun Hyung,” Jungwoo mutters as he bends down and assist the knight to his feet “Thank you, for these,” Jungwoo smiles as he smells the sweet aroma of the flower 

Jaehyun leads Jungwoo to a deeper part of the garden where a mat was placed and let Jungwoo sits first. The moment was perfect for the both of them, every moment with each other was perfect and Jaehyun’s scared that it might end soon, that they won’t get to do these in the future. 

The moon was shining brightly at them, light illuminating as much as their love for each other and just like the moon, the only time they can make their love shown is when it’s dark and serene when almost no one can see them but the stars above them.

How they both wish their lives are normal, that they can love each other freely without having a fear of being caught without having a fear of being separated from each other, losing each other. Jaehyun wishes he could keep these moments forever, they wish they could spend the rest of their lives with each other but at the end of the day their lives are completely different and yet the same in means

They both had to serve their kingdom, the people, the King. They both had to comply with the King’s order because he’s higher than them because they’re below him and everyone must obey what the King had said, no one was allowed to go against the King’s order, even his own son

“What if—What if I told father about us?” The younger had been thinking about it lately, the idea of telling his father about his relationship with Jaehyun, one of the knights in the kingdom and probably the last person his father wanted him to end up with but Jungwoo believes that their love is worth the fight, that their love doesn’t deserve to be hidden 

He got Jaehyun worried about that though, as much as Jaehyun hated their relationship being hidden he knew that it’ll be better like that than being known especially by Jungwoo’s father, only Minhyung knew about their relationship, Jaehyun’s parent doesn’t even know the affair he’s having with the Prince, his dad will probably think Jaehyun is going crazy because there’s no way the Prince would even lay his eyes on Jaehyun but here they are.

Jaehyun wrapped his arms around the prince, Jungwoo’s instinct was to press himself against Jaehyun, they savor the moment for a little longer before the younger hear Jaehyun respond

“Would that really be the best for us?” Jaehyun wonders. He wants that too, a valid relationship with Jungwoo, the Prince who Jaehyun knows could never be together with him despite the love the Prince have for him. Jaehyun knew the younger could tell the uncertainness in his voice 

“Don’t you want to?” 

“I do, Of course, I do, but is that really for the best? Would we be able to deal with the consequences?” Jungwoo turned to look at his lover 

“I don’t want us to hide anymore,” Jungwoo whispers like he too knows that talking to his dad would be useless “I don’t want to be scared anymore,” 

They’ve spent such a long time being afraid too, if their love really is worth fighting for, then why can’t they? “I think we have to think through this first, My Prince,” Jaehyun says 

“We’ve been going like this for years Jae, Isn’t it the right time to told Father about us?” 

“I think there’s no right time with your father,” Jaehyun laughs trying to lighten up the mood between them “I think we have to think through this first, My Prince,” Jaehyun whispers not quite sure what Jungwoo’s response will be but just like Jungwoo, Jaehyun is scared too, because they’re both aware that once they open up to Jungwoo’s father, the chances of them splitting up is higher and they’re both sure that Jungwoo’s father will do anything to separate them 

“We don’t have much time,” Jungwoo stated suddenly the warmth in his voice was gone and there’s a shiver run down Jaehyun’s spine at the sudden cold 

“What do you mean, My prince?” Jaehyun’s confused, they’ve been hiding their relationship for three years and, never once did Jungwoo said they’re running out of time or suggesting to just come out to his father 

“The prince from another kingdom that visited the other day, I’m surprised you still haven’t heard about it but my father’s trying to marry him to me,” Jungwoo said and Jaehyun can feel the Prince’s shoulder drop, weight against him as he use Jaehyun for support. Jaehyun can feel his too, but if he let it get to him where would he and Jungwoo will be?

Jaehyun knew this is gonna happen, he doesn’t expect it to be this early though. Jungwoo is just 22, he’s too young to be married especially to someone he doesn’t love and maybe Jaehyun is just saying that because he himself can’t believe the news and because Jaehyun dreams of marrying Jungwoo too 

Jungwoo turns to look at him and Jaehyun can see a droplet of tears on the younger’s cheeks “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” Jaehyun leans to peck at the prince’s lips, Jungwoo is the one to kiss him deeper 

There’s an ache on both their hearts because both of them don’t know how much time they have left and all they can do is cherish the moment they have now because they don’t know what could happen to them tomorrow

-

“Minhyung, why are you here?” Jungwoo asked his childhood friend as to why he’s in the Prince room early in the morning. Minhyung looks anxious there’s also sweat on his forehead and it’s not even that hot

“Prince,” Minhyung stated voice crooked and he clear his throat before speaking again “Prince Jungwoo...” Mark repeated but still, no other words came from his mouth and Jungwoo can hear a loud thoud from outside his room

“Minhyung, what is that?” Jungwoo says, voice now even stricter and demanding 

Minhyung dropped on his knees and head hang low as he mutters an apology to the Prince “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Your highness, your Father, he’s suspicious upon why I’m always in your room late at night and—and you know that I can’t lie especially to your father,” Minhyung said and everything that comes after that was a blur to Jungwoo, he already knew what his friend is implying and that only means that the commotion that he can hear is probably the rage of his father 

Jungwoo’s first movement was to run towards the sound that he can hear from where his father’s throne are 

“Father!” Jungwoo exclaimed as he opens the door to his father’s room, eyes widening as he caught a sight of Jaehyun and his father “Jaehyun...” Jungwoo whispers as he can feel tears forming in his eyes 

His father glared at him “Is he the reason why you’re always out at night Jungwoo?” his father said and Jungwoo can feel shivers down his spine at the scary tone in his father’s voice 

“Father...” Jungwoo mutters looking at his father as he runs towards Jaehyun who’s on his knees and he can see Minhyung on his side vision on the door standing apologetically 

Minhyung knew how much the two love each other because if their love isn’t real enough would it last for more than three years? But Minhyung is fearful for his life, he knew that he can be killed if he ever lies to the King and if he did sooner or later the King will know it too and Minhyung would be double dead. He loves his friend, He loves Jungwoo to death, they’re best friends, he always wants the best for him and only wants what could make Jungwoo happy but he couldn’t betray the man who’s almost his father, he couldn’t betray the man who keeps him in his house, feed him, and raise him. Minhyung will always be grateful to Jungwoo’s father and as much as he loves Jungwoo he also can’t turn his back against the King

Mark saw blood dripping on the King’s sword and a loud voice that shouted the Prince’s name. Minhyung can’t help but to blame himself, he knew he shouldn’t but he couldn’t help it.

“Are you willing to disobey me just for someone like him Jungwoo?” The King’s stern voice make Jungwoo tremble as he hold onto Jaehyun, pressing a grip on the latter’s arm to stop the bleeding from it 

“I love him, Father!” Jungwoo cried out, shielding his body over Jaehyun when he saw his Father gripped the sword even tighter 

“You’re delusional! Do you think your love can save you from your fate? how could you betray your kingdom? How could you disobey my command!”

“How is our love betraying our kingdom?! I’m your son, Father! You shouldn’t sell me off to another kingdom just because of business!” Jungwoo defended, tears rolling down his cheeks “I love him...” Jungwoo whispers 

Jungwoo can feel Jaehyun tapping his shoulder and telling him to stop, they knew this would happen, they knew their love wouldn’t bring them anything good, he knew that being with Jungwoo, living happily, building their own family is impossible “Jungwoo, stop...” Jaehyun pleads

“No!”

“Jungwoo stop!” His father shouted, “What did he do? Did he threaten you to be in a relationship with him? What did he tell you to be with him?!” Jungwoo’s father interrogated 

“I love him, Your highness,” said Jaehyun and he can feel the King’s glare through his bone 

“Jungwoo, move,” his father said, voice low and threatening and Jungwoo knew that if he moves just a slight bit his father won’t hesitate to aim his sword towards Jaehyun

Jungwoo shakes his head vigorously “No...no, you can’t do this father,” 

“I’m going to end your delusion Jungwoo, you can’t be with a lowborn, you’re going to marry Prince Yukhei and that’s final!”

“No! he doesn’t even love me and so do I! Why can’t you just let me be happy, father?” Jungwoo cried out, he doesn’t want to lose hope but he knew arguing with his father is useless, because, at the end of everything, he’s Jungwoo’s father, he’s the King, he’s above everyone else and no other mortal from their kingdom can go against him 

“What life could he give you? You won’t be happy with him Jungwoo, he can’t give you happiness!” Jungwoo can feel a grip on both his arms before he’s being pulled away from Jaehyun 

“No! Father please! No! You can’t do this to me!” A series of plead escape Jungwoo’s lips and in time his father swing the sword, Jungwoo escape the grasp and run towards Jaehyun 

“Jungwoo!” Jaehyun shriek, holding Jungwoo’s body as the Prince’s body goes limp against him. The King’s sword hanging low as the blood of the prince dripped into it, The King stared at his son, lying against Jaehyun

“Jungwoo, no, no, please,” Jaehyun shakes Jungwoo’s body and hug the Prince even tighter 

“Hyung... Jaehyun Hyung,” Jungwoo calls out, still having the energy to cup the older’s cheeks “I love you,” 

“I love you too, please...” Jaehyun pleaded. Jungwoo bleeds against him, Jaehyun can feel the blood that’s dripping out of Jungwoo’s back and onto his shirt 

“In our next life, I’m still gonna love you and hopefully the timing is right for us,” Jaehyun shooked his head, no, this can’t be the end, this isn’t the ending they’ve been wanting, this isn’t the ending they think they’d have if ever they spoke to Jungwoo’s father about their relationship, this isn’t the ending Jaehyun wants for Jungwoo

“In our next life, I hope you won’t remember me, so you won’t have to face the tragic ending you’re facing right now,” Jaehyun presses a kiss on the Prince’s forehead “I love you Jungwoo, I love you so much, I’m sorry,”

\--

It’s been twice a century. Jaehyun had witnessed everything the past generation had witnessed, the only difference is those mortals had died but Jaehyun didn’t 

He had watched the kingdom he once belong fall after the death of the Prince, he had seen how the kingdom that’s once full of life and feel so alive died, he had witnessed himself died and be back to life. He didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse but he sure take it as a curse

It’s been so long since he had seen Jungwoo, he didn’t even know if he’ll see him again, but one thing is for sure, he’s gonna wait for Jungwoo, no matter how many centuries will pass, he’ll be waiting for him, even if he doesn’t remember him 

Jaehyun first saw Jungwoo again in a library, late at night rummaging through the shelves as he looked for a book that concerns economics considering where shelf he stays 

“Are you looking for something?” Jaehyun asked, working as a part-timer in a library near his house to waste his time, well, working late at night is the best way to divert his attention from necessary thoughts and memories he wants to forget, but he can’t, as long as he’s alive those memories will haunt him 

“Oh yes, Thank you,” The younger smiles at him as he tells the librarian what he needs 

“It’s my first time seeing you here,” Jaehyun stated, testing the waters if the younger wants to have any conversation with him 

“Ah yes, we just move here, my father’s an author and, the last country we’re in, it didn’t do well,” The younger tells 

“Oh, why?” Jaehyun asked, confused and wants to know more about how Jungwoo had live his second life, Jaehyun isn’t even sure if it’s the younger’s second life but it’s his second time with Jaehyun 

“You’re asking too much Mr. Librarian,” Jungwoo chuckles “I’ll tell you _next time_ Mr.?” next time Jaehyun remembers

“Jaehyun, you can call me Jaehyun,” The ‘oh’ shape that’s formed in the younger’s mouth confirmed that he doesn’t remember him

“I’m sure it won’t be the last time we’ll be seeing each other Mr. Jaehyun, I’m Jungwoo, thanks for helping me,” Jungwoo said and turned to leave 

_I know,_ Jaehyun wants to say, I know who you are and maybe next time, I’ll tell you how you live your life

When Jungwoo said next time Jaehyun didn’t expect it to be the night after “Good evening Jaehyun,” Jungwoo whispers to Jaehyun when he found the older male in one of the farthest aisle in the library, aware of where they are even though it’s almost midnight and no other people can be seen inside the library besides two to three people 

“You’re here again?” Jaehyun says, actually surprised that Jungwoo came back considering that the library is far from his home

Well, how did Jaehyun know? He may have or have not followed Jungwoo home the first night they met, Jaehyun isn’t being a creep okay? He just wants to make sure that Jungwoo will get home safely, though the younger doesn’t remember him but Jaehyun does 

“I told you it won’t be the last time we’ll see each other,” Jungwoo beams and, Jaehyun smiles back he wants to touch his hair so bad, he wants to hug the younger male and told him how lonely he felt without him

Jungwoo hasn’t changed one bit since Jaehyun last remember, though the generation is different Jungwoo hasn’t change. He’s still the smiley Prince who would smile at everyone he’ll cross path with, he still look so beautiful, so pretty that it made Jaehyun’s heart hurt that he falls in love with him. Sometimes Jaehyun wonders what if they didn’t fall in love at all? It’s not that Jaehyun regrets falling in love with Jungwoo but he can’t help but to think back on how Jungwoo died that day, it was because of him, because of his love for Jungwoo

“Jaehyun? Are you alright?” Jaehyun didn’t notice that the younger step too close to him and was touching his cheeks and wiping the tear that falls from the older’s eyes “You must feel lonely here, right? It’s so quiet and dim,” _Yes, it does feel lonely, but it doesn’t anymore now that you’re here_

“Do you want to read with me?” Jungwoo asked suddenly picking a random book on the shelf before pulling Jaehyun at the end of the aisle and drop himself to the floor leaning against the wall, Jaehyun doesn’t protest and follow the younger 

“Romeo and Juliet?” Jaehyun read the novel’s title, Jungwoo nodded “Why? Did you read this already? Because I already do” Jaehyun can see a smile spread on Jungwoo’s face as he runs his fingers on the book’s cover

Jaehyun wanted to answer immediately but the younger continue to talk “I’m actually only re-reading and repeating this, somehow it never fails to make me cry, that someone can die because of love and I want to experience that too, maybe not the dying part but the love from someone that they’re willing to die just to be with you. How lucky a person can be to have someone who’s willing to sacrifice themselves for them,” _I’m indeed lucky, that I got you to sacrifice yourself for me and I’m sorry you got to be the unlucky one, and I’m sorry that I’m not brave as you, always willing to take the risk, always willing to protect me. I was supposed to be the knight and yet you’re the one who protected me_ “Have you read this already, Jaehyun?” Jungwoo repeated the question smiling at from afar but obviously waiting for the older’s response

Jaehyun shakes his head as he tries to jerk his tears away “I’ve read almost all the novels in here and that’s the only book I can’t get myself to read,” Jaehyun stated

Jungwoo looked at him, curiosity hinted in his eyes as he turns his body towards Jaehyun ready to hear more from the older 

“It’s tragic, It reminded me of something I want to forget and, yet I want to remember,” That made Jungwoo curious even more, Jaehyun turned to look at him “I love him to death and, yet he’s the one who died for me,” Their eyes met and suddenly there are tears in Jungwoo’s eyes

There’s an unexplainable pang in his chest as his eyes met with Jaehyun when the older look at him like he has seen everything in him, like he knew and can read his emotion and how sad Jaehyun’s eyes that stares back into his soul 

“Can I hug you?” Jungwoo asked, out of nowhere, and of course, Jaehyun agrees, there’s no reason for him to say no, he’s been waiting for this, for Jungwoo’s return, to feel Jungwoo’s warmth against him again, to hug and to kiss the younger and to cherish the moment they have together 

The warmth felt so familiar to Jungwoo, it makes him crave for more as he hugs the older even tighter, he feels such a deep connection with a man he barely knew and just met last night, he feels so at ease and at home like he belongs in the man’s embrace

“Who did you love before?” Jungwoo asked, and somehow he’s not ready for the older’s answer he doesn’t even know if Jaehyun will answer such a personal question and yet Jungwoo is dying to know 

“Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to tell me about your father?” That made Jungwoo laugh, “You’re right,” Jungwoo smiles as he escapes the older’s embrace unwillingly but he’s afraid that if he stays even longer, he might not want to escape 

Jaehyun stares at the younger as he readjusts himself on the floor to find a comfortable position and thinks that _maybe_ , maybe next time he’ll tell Jungwoo who is it, next time he’ll tell him that it’s him

The next time didn’t come though when Jungwoo stops coming to the library after a week and Jaehyun badly wants to go to him but he’s not sure how the younger may react, he’s not sure if the younger wanted to see him if he still feels the same way the old Jungwoo did with Jaehyun 

Jaehyun was worried, should he go to him? All the nights they’ve spent in the library means something right? Even not in the way Jaehyun wanted, they’re friends, right? 

One noon when he’s on the way to the library he heard the news about a newly moved author being killed in his house with his family this early morning for writing something against the government, for using his books and article to expose the government’s dirty deeds. Jaehyun knew from those that it’s Jungwoo’s father they’re talking about, he can even hear someone saying there are investigators in the Kim’s house right now since the case is fresh as he runs to Jungwoo 

Jaehyun shooked his head as he ran, he rants no in his head, not ready to lose Jungwoo this fast, not ready to let go of the younger again as they wish to spend more time in this life. Jungwoo even ask him for a coffee date that never happen and Jungwoo even say he’ll introduce him to his father since Jaehyun’s the only _friend_ he has not knowing that he’s Jaehyun’s only friend too

It’s been such a lonely life without Jungwoo, everyday feels like hell and Jaehyun can barely go through it, he’s only started to see sunshine again, he just started feeling excited to be under the moonlight again in the dark where the stars can only see him now that he’s with Jungwoo 

Jaehyun knew this is bound to happen, him witnessing Jungwoo’s death again, losing Jungwoo for the second time, but he didn’t expect it to be this fast 

Jaehyun runs towards Jungwoo’s body ignoring the analyst shout to not come any closer, but Jaehyun doesn’t care, all he cares about is the younger’s body in front of him, once again slack and lifeless and Jaehyun holding onto him for dear life

“It’s you, you’re the one who I love before,” Jaehyun cries as he holds Jungwoo’s body close “I’m so sorry I failed you again, I’m so sorry if we met again,” 

Jaehyun remembers the word he said to Jungwoo when he first died to not remember him so Junwgoo won’t have to face the same tragedy twice and yet he does, even though he couldn’t remember Jaehyun, he still dies in a tragic way that no one should go through 

Jaehyun holds onto the younger, fingers wiping on the blood on Jungwoo’s forehead “No matter what life it is, I’ll only gonna love you, no matter how long it is, I’ll wait for you over and over again,”

\--

Jaehyun met Jungwoo again on a cruise on his way to Jeju, Jungwoo’s a painter at that time and Jaehyun thank all the god that he spent all his time waiting for Jungwoo to learn about things he still didn’t 

“Isn’t the night so beautiful?” _You looked way more beautiful,_ Jaehyun stares at the younger who’s eyes are fixated at the stars shining above them and once again the stars are their only witness 

“Coming to Jeju was really a good decision, I feel like a have an inspiration again,” Jungwoo continues while simultaneously looked at Jaehyun and tilted his head “It’s you,” _It’s me?_

“Thanks to you I feel like I have an inspiration again,” Jungwoo smiles at him 

Jaehyun laughs, “I barely do anything,” Jungwoo beg to differ to that 

“Right, If I weren’t drunk last night then maybe I wouldn’t meet you,” Jungwoo says arms widening like he’s embracing the cold air the night are giving them “Isn’t it fate? Meeting in a big cruise like this, me drunk and unpassionate,” 

It is fate, Jaehyun is sure, to be able to meet Jungwoo again, under any circumstances, under what life it is 

“Why are you even drinking?” Jaehyun wonders, what got Jungwoo drinking at night to be that drunk “You don’t even like alcohol or wines,” 

Jungwoo stares at him in shock “How do you know?” Jaehyun stares back at the younger and realizes what words had come out of his mouth 

“Well, Uhm, I mean you look like someone who doesn’t like to drink,” Jaehyun laughs it out to avoid any awkwardness between the two of them, thankfully Jungwoo took the bait and doesn’t ask any more questions 

“Do you want to drink with me?” Jungwoo asked, “The moon is shining bright against us, isn’t this kind of romantic?” Jungwoo laughs, and Jaehyun can’t do anything but to agree, too weak to say no to the younger “And I knew you like alcohols,”

“Huh?” Jaehyun was shocked, He stares at Jungwoo, who’s also staring at him while smiling before it suddenly turned into shock 

“I mean, you look like you’re fond of alcohols,” Jungwoo laughs bashfully and suddenly all the hope in Jaehyun’s body fade, he feels stupid, he’s stupid to even think that Jungwoo would remember him, If he’s cursed with this immortal life then maybe Jungwoo is cursed with not remembering Jaehyun, in any way Jaehyun tries to make him remember and in any life 

But Jaehyun is thankful, that even still, he got to meet Jungwoo in his life, and that he got to feel and see Jungwoo, and that he can still fall in love with the younger over and over, it’s a feeling that Jaehyun would never get tired of 

Before Jaehyun can even reply Jungwoo is pulling him to the bar inside the cruise. Jaehyun watched as the younger ordered something lightweight but sweet, still very Jungwoo. He remembers how Jungwoo isn’t fond of alcohol and wines but definitely loves Moscato, it’s lightweight and sweet. He remembers the first time he had seen Jungwoo

There’s a party going on in the kingdom, a celebration of unity between the two kingdoms, and that’s also the first time Jaehyun had seen Yukhei who at that time he didn’t know that three years after, he’s set to marry Jungwoo because if Jaehyun knew, he wouldn’t let himself fall for the prince

“Would you like to dance, Jaehyun?” Jaehyun doesn’t know how long he’d been staring at the younger but he’s sure it’s quite long considering that Jungwoo already has a tint of pink on his cheeks due to alcohol. Jaehyun smiles fondly at the younger, Jungwoo easily gets red whenever he’s drinking and it never changes 

“Sure, who am I to deny?” Jungwoo laughs at that before pulling Jaehyun to the dancefloor, the music isn’t the usual loud and vibey songs but it’s slow and romantic that you can feel butterflies in the air dancing with you 

Jaehyun remembers how much Jungwoo loves to dance, he remembers all the time they’ve spent hidden in the garden, Jungwoo would always ask him to dance with him even though there’s no music playing in the background and the only sound you can hear is crickets and the serene sound of the lake near them. Jungwoo always had a passion for dancing, and Jaehyun likes watching him, he remembers watching from a distance as he watches Jungwoo and Yukhei dance at the ball and how Yukhei couldn’t keep up with Jungwoo’s graceful dancing, Jaehyun was always mesmerized at how the younger moves, maybe because he’s a prince that’s why he always move so gracefully and elegant and even in dancing, he always glows in Jaehyun’s eyes, and that never changes through centuries 

Because now, even in the dimmed lights of the bar and with other people slow dancing around them, Jaehyun couldn’t tear his focus on Jungwoo 

“Don’t stare at me, It’s making me shy,” Jungwoo laughs as he rest his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder “How can’t I? You look so beautiful,” 

Jungwoo chuckles at that head bobbing at Jaehyun’s shoulder, “You’re such a flirt, Mr. Jung,”

“Learn from the best,” Jaehyun replied and smile on the younger’s head, the younger just hummed like he knew who Jaehyun is talking about because it’s him, Jungwoo is the biggest flirt he’d ever met, he can make everyone flustered with his words and looks and Jaehyun is always his victim

“Do—Do you want to spend a day with me after this trip ends?” Jaehyun takes the risk and ask the younger male, he’s not sure whether they’ll meet after this. Jeju is big, if he let go of Jungwoo now, he might not be able to see the man in this life again 

Jungwoo turns to look at him and suddenly there’s a nervousness creeping on Jaehyun’s veins and all the braveness disappeared when Jungwoo say nothing and just look at him, there’s an immediate relief on Jaehyun’s chest when Jungwoo smiled at him and _‘sure’_ had escaped the younger’s lips 

-

“It’s so beautiful here, Jae! How did you know this place?” Jungwoo looks at sea with loving eyes 

“This isn’t my first time here in Jeju, and besides Jeju is known for beaches right?” Jaehyun smiled fondly at the younger one who’s too busy running to the shore to soak his feet to even look at the older. Jaehyun had to follow the younger 

“I’ve always loved the water, Jae,” Jungwoo stated and Jaehyun can swear he can see stars shining in Jungwoo’s eyes, it’s been a while since he last saw the younger this happy, eyes twinkling with pure happiness, with independence, like he can breathe and love on his own, without the orders of other people he’s too scared to disobey 

“I know,” Jaehyun says unconsciously, Jungwoo turned to look at him water splashing lowly at the movement. Jungwoo moves closer to Jaehyun

“You know it’s quite weird,” Jungwoo chuckles, “It’s like you know me more than I know myself,” 

_Because I do,_ If anyone in this world that knows Jungwoo more than anyone, it’ll probably be Jaehyun, not even his father, not even Minhyung. Jungwoo had only let himself be at the mercy of Jaehyun, he only let his guard down when he’s with the older, showing who he really is, shining for who he really is

“Maybe I really do,” Jaehyun says, breathe ghosting on the younger’s lips and Jaehyun can’t help the fastening of his heartbeat and he wishes Jungwoo couldn’t hear it. It’ll be the first time he’ll kiss Jungwoo again, he wonders if it still feels the same, Jaehyun doesn’t even know when’s the last time he kisses someone since he’s sure that he never kisses anyone who’s not Jungwoo

Kissing the younger was always a bliss, it’s always safe and home. Kissing Jungwoo was peace in contrast to their hidden relationship, kissing Jungwoo was the one thing he misses the most, he misses how full the younger’s lips are, he misses how soft and sweet Jungwoo taste how safe he feels under Jungwoo’s affection and love 

Jaehyun doesn’t miss his chance, he closes the distance between him and Jungwoo and the younger gladly kiss back and as always kissing Jungwoo felt like home, so full of love, it doesn’t feel like an explosion of fireworks, it feels safe and it doesn’t make Jaehyun’s heart feels like it’s gonna burst, it made Jaehyun’s heart feel so at peace and full and all those years waiting for him worth it 

Kissing Jungwoo always made him feel breathless so he’s the one who pulls away first, forehead to forehead, and the younger was smiling so beautifully at him and for a moment he wonders if Jungwoo can feel the deep connection with him, it’s barely been a week since they’ve met, it’s only been three days and they spent those three days together

“I rented a car, there’s a famous teddy bear museum around here, I know you like soft and cuddly stuff,” Another fact from the old Jungwoo that Jaehyun isn’t sure if the new one likes, though it seems like it’s still the same when the younger let another detail of him that he hadn’t told about the older slip, he let Jaehyun pulls him away from the shore, drying their feet before heading towards the car 

“Do you used to live here in Jeju?” Jungwoo asked eyes settled at the view that they’re currently passing by. Jeju is indeed beautiful but nothing compares to the beauty that’s radiating from Jungwoo right now 

“I do, I used to live here when I was four or maybe around five? My father used to bring me to places around here,” Jaehyun fails to say that he’s actually twenty-five and that he used to explore Jeju alone while waiting for the love of his life to come back

“It must be nice, being surrounded with such beautiful places at such a young age,” Yeah, but it’s so much nicer to enjoy it with you, Jaehyun glance at the younger, smiling before focusing once again on the road

“Well, what did you do when you’re young then?”

“Living up to my father’s expectations?” Jaehyun can feel Jungwoo smiling at him, such a heavy statement that Jungwoo’s trying to make it less, “And now he wants me to marry his business partner’s son,” 

Jaehyun suddenly lands a foot on the car brake, “Jae, oh god, are you fine?” Jungwoo asked when Jaehyun should be the one who’s worried, he’d done it again, he falls in love with Jungwoo again when there’s no way for them to be together, no, he doesn’t fall in love again, because it didn’t stop did it? He never once stop loving the younger even though Jungwoo isn’t by his side

“Yeah, I’m good, sorry,” Jaehyun laughs, collecting himself before starting to drive again “I’m just surprised that’s still a thing up to now, Isn’t that a Joseon thing? Marrying your rival for peace,” 

Jungwoo laughs, “Right? Imagine how hard it must be for the people at that time, it’s like your family is sacrificing you for their own safety,” 

“You’re one of them, almost,” Jaehyun said unconsciously Jungwoo turned his head to Jaehyun a little bit too fast that his neck hurts “I mean, now, almost because you’re here, you run away right?” 

Jungwoo ease back to his seat “I’ve been planning to run for months now,”

“Is that the real reason why you’re here? You told me you’re running out of inspiration that’s why you’re here,” 

“That’s partially true, the main reason is definitely the marriage and the loss of inspiration was because of that,”

“Have you find your inspiration now?” 

Jungwoo smiles at the older and Jaehyun can’t help but feel nervous under the younger man’s stare “I did,”

“You’re just like teddy bears do you know?” Jungwoo says while roaming around the room with fascination in his eyes, not knowing teddy bears has such a wide range “They all look so cuddly and soft,” Jungwoo said hands sticking on the glass, “If you were a teddy bear you would be that one,” 

Jaehyun looks at where Jungwoo is pointing, the younger was directly looking at the teddy bear right in front of him, dressed up in a weak imitation of a metal armor, a sword in the bear’s palm and a shield on the left hand. Jaehyun had to stare at the younger male wondering if he can remember even a slightest bit of Jaehyun in his memory or if who’s Jaehyun he can remember 

“You look like someone who’s willing to protect the one you love,” Jungwoo beams at him before moving on to another side of the museum leaving Jaehyun standing stupidly in front of the said bear, Jaehyun takes a minute to stare at it before leaving to follow Jungwoo who’s already nearing the exit 

“Do you want to drink tonight? It’s on me,” Jungwoo says leaning at the car’s door as he took a sight of Jaehyun walking out not a few minutes after 

“You’ve been drinking for three night straight, Jungwoo,” Jaehyun stifles a laugh

“So what? We don’t know when’s our lives gonna end, why not enjoy it right?” Jungwoo pouts at the older who’s already sitting on the driver side “Come on, bring me to a famous bar you know,” Jungwoo wink at Jaehyun before diverting his attention once again to the view

If there was an expertise that Jaehyun still didn’t know, it’s probably how to say no to Jungwoo, because he knows how they wouldn’t end up here in a hospital 

Several nurses around Jungwoo as the doctor tries to revive him, is this what Jungwoo meant earlier? Enjoying their lives because they don’t know how much time they have left? Jaehyun does know and he should have known better, he might not be that drunk but there are countless of reckless drivers around time and if only Jaehyun known better, they wouldn’t be involved in this accident

Jaehyun had caught sight of the teenager who’s driving the other car, he’s not even legal and yet he has the nerves to create such an accident. Jaehyun try his hard to control his anger if there’s a thing that Jaehyun knew about humans is that the earlier they live the more annoying they became hence why he also have to longer his patience and he’s usually good at that but it’s Jungwoo we’re talking about right now

Jaehyun doesn’t even get to enjoy the time he has with Jungwoo yet, will he lose him that fast now? Not even a month, not even a week, all he wants is a happy life with Jungwoo, is that really too much to ask for?

Jaehyun doesn’t realize he had thrown a punch on the man’s face until there’s a bunch of nurses stopping him but Jaehyun didn’t stop, anger-filled emotion that made him lost his mind if it doesn’t for a loud beeping sound Jaehyun wouldn’t stop 

“Time of death. 1:23 AM.” Jaehyun can faintly hear Jungwoo’s name, all that’s echoing in his mind is that he has once again fail Jungwoo, he couldn’t save him in this lifetime too. Jaehyun thoughtlessly walks towards the younger’s body, legs almost giving out as he takes a hold of Jungwoo’s hands, muttering a series of noise under his breath, trying to sync in what just happened 

He lost Jungwoo again because of a careless accident that could be prevented only if Jaehyun can say no to Jungwoo

Jaehyun found himself holding onto the younger’s remains, there are no words that are coming out of Jaehyun’s mouth but the tears that fall on the younger’s chest hold so much grief than words could ever say

\--

“You’re here again,” Jungwoo turns his body and beams at the older who’s holding another bouquet of assorted tulips in his hands, leaning on the door and probably waiting for Jungwoo to wake up first before coming in 

“I told you I wouldn’t miss a day without bringing your favorite flowers,” Jaehyun places the flower at the table beside Jungwoo’s bed before sitting at the chair near it “How are you feeling today, Woo?” Jaehyun takes the younger’s palm and pressed a delicate kiss on it

“Mark visited me earlier but he has to leave again because he has a class,” Jungwoo says sitting up from the bed and Jaehyun can see some sadness and loneliness in his eyes, “I miss going to class, Jae,” Jungwoo rest his head on the older’s shoulder and Jaehyun can’t do anything but to caress the younger’s back as a sign of comfort

“I know, Woo but you have to recover first okay?” Jaehyun stands up to get Jungwoo’s medicine “You still haven’t drunk your medicine for today,” Jaehyun can see from where he is standing that Jungwoo’s currently pouting 

“I’m bored here. Jae, I can’t do anything besides wait for you and Mark,” And on cue, the door opens

“Well, you don’t have to wait cause I’m here!” Mark burst into the door, Jungwoo laugh at Mark’s sudden commotion 

It’s nearly been two years since he met Jungwoo and what comes with that is meeting Mark, Jungwoo’s best friend. He’d always accidentally called Mark, Minhyung and the younger would look at him differently though, as time pass Mark got used to Jaehyun calling him someone he’s not but it’s roughly two years and Jaehyun still can’t help but feel weird in Mark’s presence. The appearance, the voice, and even the height if Jaehyun could remember, all heavily reminds him of Minhyung, the way Mark reacted to Jungwoo’s news. 

Jungwoo’s been born with a weak heart, Coronary heart disease. It can’t be cured but it can be treated, that’s why they’re doing their best to persuade Jungwoo to be treated. Jungwoo doesn’t want to at first, he believes he’s perfectly healthy and the only thing that says otherwise is a piece of paper that tells him he develops a disease due to his weak heart. He still didn’t want to, Jaehyun and Mark had no other choice but to forced him to get treated, they forced him to be in the hospital drink his medicine and prolong his life.

“Oh Minhyung, don’t you have class?” Jaehyun says as he’s done pouring the water on the glass before giving it to Jungwoo along with the medicine the younger didn’t want to take

“I told you that’s not my name, Hyung,” Mark laughs dumping his bag on the couch not far from Jungwoo’s bed before slumping down in the same place “How was hospital, Woo?” 

“Still boring, lonely and I want to go home,” Jungwoo blurted out. Mark felt sympathy for his best friend, since a child, Jungwoo had never able live a normal life, his heart was weak, he can’t play outside like normal kids do, his parents never let him anywhere near the playground and the only reason why he met Mark is that he sneaks out of the house and run to the playground, Mark had seen him clutching on his chest and accompany him home and that’s how they grew closer, at such a young age, Jungwoo’s parents had fully trust the much younger boy with Jungwoo, finally allowing Jungwoo to come to the playground and play but still not on full extent, since then, those two are inseparable 

“I want to get out of here, Jae, even just for a day, hmm? Please,” Jungwoo hugged Jaehyun by the waist as he looked up at the older’s eyes, giving the latter his big, round puppy eyes, he knew his boyfriend can’t resist. Jaehyun thought about it, he looks over at Mark who’s currently looking at him too like they’re debating whether they should agree with Jungwoo’s puppy eyes and let him rest off the hospital for a day “I’ll promise I won’t oppose to any treatment that can extend my life after that, and I’ll promise to always drink my medicine and not hide it from you guys!” 

“Fine,” Jaehyun as weak as ever had agreed to the younger’s offer, how can he not? When Jungwoo’s promising like that, they all knew how hard it is for Jungwoo to agree to take the treatment every time, throwing tantrums and still thinking he’s perfectly healthy when he’s always running out of breath and his chest pains all the time and about the medicine, it’s also the reason why Jaehyun hated missing a day visiting Jungwoo because even though the younger’s been busted all the time, he still tries to hide the pills to Jaehyun and acts like he’d already drink it. It’s not good, Jungwoo is putting his life at risk just because he’s so stubborn, just because he can’t accept that he’s sick, he has a disease that can never be cured by time, that can only be treated for a lifetime and Jaehyun knew that the reason why the younger is doing all of those is because he’s actually in so much pain, and when he doesn’t think about it, he won’t feel it.

Jungwoo beamed at the older’s approval, knowing well that Jaehyun admitted him here and Jaehyun’s the one who can get him out of here. All Jungwoo wanted was to enjoy his life, ever since a child, his parents had been so protected of him, never letting him play alone, never wanting Jungwoo away from them, keeping him at least five meters away from their sight and if he goes beyond that, there’ll be going home, no further explanation. That’s until he met Mark, the kid who helped him when he’s suffering from chest pain one afternoon near the playground, who pester him to tell him their address so he could bring Jungwoo home when that’s the last place Jungwoo always wanted to go, the younger who’s been with him through thick and thin when Jungwoo’s still that small child with heart problems not knowing he’s developing a disease. Then he met Jaehyun, in one evening when he had once again run away from home, when his parents first told him to get himself check because his chest pain is getting worst, the older, the stranger who had bought him up to the hospital, Jaehyun who Jungwoo didn’t know stay with him the whole process until Jungwoo learns to fall in love with him giving his heart a chance to experience heartbreak and pain knowing damn well his weak heart can’t handle those. 

They’ve been together for two years, Jungwoo didn’t know that one night in the park would give him the will to live, would give him the strength to fight along with his heart because now it’s not only beating for Jungwoo but because of Jaehyun as well.

Jungwoo fells asleep holding his boyfriend’s hands and the excitement that comes with the thought of getting out of his hellhole for months 

“Aren’t you going home, Minhyung?” Jaehyun asked the younger behind him “I will after I’ll tell you something,” Jaehyun’s eyebrow drew closer, which Mark couldn’t probably see because of the position they’re currently in

“Is that really okay?” Jaehyun hears Mark said, not too loud but clear, the room was dead silent right now and the only thing you could hear is the machine beeping and their own breathing “How many lives had he live?” 

Jaehyun slowly let go of Jungwoo’s hand momentarily to turn to the youngest boy in the room, Jaehyun didn’t say anything, he sat there in complete silence as he waits for the younger to continue, to ease Jaehyun’s confusion 

“I’m sorry,” Mark stared back at Jaehyun “I lied, I remember everything,” Jaehyun can see Mark’s eyes glistening with tears under the dim lights of the room 

“Mark, what are you saying?” For the first time out of Jaehyun’s stubbornness, he had called the younger with his name 

“I remember my life as Minhyung, Jungwoo’s best friend, the one who betray him,” Jaehyun stared at Mark for a long while. Jaehyun knew it, from when Jungwoo first introduced Mark to him, from when Jungwoo told him Mark’s his childhood and only friend, Jaehyun knew he was Minhyung, from how he acts, how he reacts, how he laughs at whatever Jungwoo is saying and even though Mark wouldn’t tell, Jaehyun is sure he feels weird around Jaehyun too. But Mark isn’t at fault, he didn’t do anything wrong in his past life, and even now, all he had to do is stay by Jungwoo’s side whenever the boy needed him. 

“You only did what you had to,” Jaehyun sighs “You’ve only wanted what’s the best for Jungwoo, before and even now,” 

“You’re the best for him,” Mark’s eyes soften as he looks at Jaehyun “I can see through him and I know that in every life, he’s bound to fall in love with you,” 

Jaehyun chuckles at that, “Sucks to be him, right? He’s bound to fall in love over and over again with the man who knows nothing but brings pain to him but I’m still being selfish and can’t even walk away from him,” 

Mark slung his bag on his shoulder before walking over to Jaehyun “You’re not being selfish for feeling love, and I’m sure Jungwoo would want to be with you in every life he had, hoping that you’ll find the happy ending you’ve been wanting from the start,” The younger pats Jaehyun’s shoulder, looking at the older who’s looking at Jungwoo with sadness in his eyes, Jaehyun’s eyes, as he’s looking at the younger, was full of passion and want, full of love yet filled with sadness “Is there a time where he remembers you?” 

Jaehyun shook his head “I thought he did, but he didn’t,” 

“Then you should forget about the past too, learn to live with the new Jungwoo and stop thinking that what happened before was your fault, You can never find true happiness with Jungwoo until you let that part of you go,” Mark looks at his best friend, even until now, Mark still couldn’t help but blame himself, and Mark’s sure that Jungwoo didn’t want that and the Prince would probably tell him that in every action we make, there’s a reason behind it that only us can understand, “I’ll be going now Hyung, I won’t be visiting tomorrow and should give you two a private day all to yourselves, love him Hyung, like how you love him before,” Mark walks away, burden in his heart not as heavy as before but still carrying the past that he once lived, how he betray his best friend, his only family for a person that doesn’t treat him as one, Jungwoo had done so many things, had sacrifice himself for him to get punish before but then all he need is one threat from the King when Jungwoo had receive many for him to betray his best friend

-

“What do you want to do first, Woo?” Jaehyun asked as they walk out of the hospital with a very bouncy Jungwoo, Jungwoo can’t even hide his happiness as he literally bounces on his feet on the way out 

Jungwoo clings to the older male “I’d like to thank you first, love,” Jungwoo presses a kiss on Jaehyun’s cheeks. Jaehyun chuckles “You really are such a sap,” 

“You like it though,” Jungwoo pouts “But thank you really, I feel like I don’t know what outside looks like anymore, those five months inside feels like hell then I only see the same view over and over again,” Jaehyun pats the younger’s head trying not to show the feel of pity he feels, Jaehyun know how much the younger hates to be pitied 

“I know Woo, that’s why later, at my apartment, we could just lay down and look for stars, I know how much you love looking at the stars in there,” Jaehyun smiles, leaning to press a kiss on Jungwoo’s forehead 

“It has the best view Jae,” Jungwoo beamed, “Can we go to the market first? I want to cook something for you,” Jaehyun open the car door for Jungwoo earning him a sweet smile and a kiss before going around to the other side 

“Okay, anywhere you want, love,” Jungwoo laughs as Jaehyun pressed a kiss at the back of his hands before driving away from the hospital and suddenly Jungwoo can feel like he can breathe again, though much harder without the machine but definitely feels so much better inhaling fresh air than air out of tubes 

Jaehyun couldn’t keep his words, up to now, he can still clearly say no to the younger, up to now, he still can’t help crossing paths with the younger. Jaehyun had promised himself in Jungwoo’s past life that he’ll avoid the younger as much as he can, because he brings nothing but pain for the other, but seems like it’s a curse for them to always cross paths, Jaehyun wanted to call it that but maybe his feelings are the one who’s bringing him back to Jungwoo

“Are you in the mood for pork belly?” Jungwoo asked as he looked around the market, eyes sparkling at the normal view, well, can you blame him? Five months imprisonment in the hospital waiting for someone to visit him, to show him pictures of how outside looks, Jungwoo’s been living such a sad and lonely life but Jaehyun makes it less lonely for him. Loving Jaehyun was the best thing that Jungwoo did for himself, Jaehyun made him do things that he thought he couldn’t do, made him feel things he thought he couldn’t feel, Jungwoo was so painfully in love with Jaehyun and he knew that love would kill him someday, but Jungwoo is willing to die just to feel the warmth Jaehyun is giving him, just to feel the love Jaehyun is making him feel 

“Eat whatever you want to eat love,” Jungwoo lets out a soft ‘yay’ before pressing a kiss on the elder’s cheek. Jungwoo is so affectionate today, not that Jaehyun is complaining, he loves the extra attention of course and maybe Jungwoo is really that thankful that Jaehyun gets him out of the hospital but Jaehyun’s willing to do everything for the younger male and what’s a one day out of the place Jungwoo spent almost his whole life in right? 

Jungwoo’s out of breath, he almost feels like he couldn’t breathe but the excitement of finally being outside’s outdoing the urge to let him feel the pain. Jungwoo’s only 23, he’s perfectly healthy /or so he thinks/ and perfectly living his life with his boyfriend, he’s doing therapy that can or cannot lengthen his life, he’s been obediently taking his medicine, maybe not on time but within the day at least, he can’t be feeling death already, he’s still not ready. 

Jungwoo slowly walks towards Jaehyun’s kitchen, staring and remembering every little thing he had put in Jaehyun’s home to make it feel like his too, he remembers Jaehyun’s plain black unit finally having a mixture of white and gray, the dark atmosphere instantly brightens up with Jungwoo’s redecoration and the snoopy items you would randomly find at every corner of Jaehyun’s house, his and _Jungwoo’s_ house.

“We could eat at the balcony, love,” Jaehyun suggested “So you could look at the stars as you eat,” Jaehyun wraps an arm around Jungwoo’s middle as Jungwoo stands in front of the counter, patiently waiting for their food to be done 

“I can’t believe our day’s about to end already,” Jungwoo laughs, “I feel like we barely did anything,” Jungwoo pouts 

Jaehyun presses a kiss on the younger’s cheek, “We already go to the places you like to go, Woo, we did so many things today,” Jaehyun laughs against Jungwoo’s shoulder 

“But still, I feel like we barely done nothing and I feel like I miss you,” Jungwoo turned off the stove before turning around to face Jaehyun, the older leans in to kiss Jungwoo, it was meant to be short but Jungwoo thinks the otherwise as he deepens the kiss, looping his arm around the older while Jaehyun pulled him closer by the waist.

They savor each other’s lips or a few more minutes before Jungwoo pulls away first complaining that he’s hungry already and they should eat making the older laugh before pecking again on the younger’s lips making Jungwoo whine

Both of them was seated on the mini swing that Jaehyun bought as a gift for Jungwoo on their first anniversary when he noticed how the younger loves sitting on the balcony, basking the serene light the moon is giving, the moonlight hitting Jungwoo’s face so perfectly, reflecting against his hair, along the perfect curved of his nose, his cheeks giving it a highlight. Jungwoo shines so brightly against the moon, it’s been like that since day one, Jungwoo and the moon has always been the perfect combination for Jaehyun, for the moon was always the witness of his undying love for the younger

“Thank you for today, Jae,” Jungwoo whispers as he leans his head against Jaehyun’s shoulder, the older automatically putting his arms around the male’s shoulder to pull him closer 

“Anything for you love,” A kiss on the side of the younger’s head is what comes with Jaehyun’s reply and he can feel Jungwoo smiling against him 

“I feel tired though,” Jungwoo chuckles

“Then sleep love, I’ll be here when you wake up,” 

“Really?” Jungwoo turns to Jaehyun like he can’t believe it when Jaehyun’s always been there for him every day he woke up

“Of course, silly, when did I not?” Jaehyun laughs kissing Jungwoo’s forehead before setting it down again on his shoulder 

Jungwoo breathes into Jaehyun’s company, not replying anything to the older anymore as his eyes becomes slugish under the moon’s light 

“Are you sleeping already?” Jaehyun whispers receiving a soft hum from the younger 

Jaehyun stares at the sky, it’s so clear and dark, the moon and the stars being the only witness again of their love, when Jaehyun misses Jungwoo, he’d always look at the moon, for it was the thing that he thinks represents Jungwoo the most because, among the thousands of stars in the sky, the moon shines the brightest

“I love you, Jaehyun,” Jaehyun’s heart is beating so fast he’s afraid it’ll jump off his chest, it’s not that it’s the first time he’s hearing it again but it feels like first every time. It was so sincere like Jungwoo put his whole love in those words

Jungwoo’s breath however drastically grow slower, he becomes comfortable under the warmth of Jaehyun as he lures him to sleep, finally letting his eyes close and _I love you too_ from Jaehyun is the last thing he heard before he drives himself to sleep 

“Are you sleeping already, love?” Jaehyun fixes Jungwoo’s position when he felt that the younger’s chest is not moving

“Sleep well, love. I’d always wait for you, no matter how many days, years, I’d always be here when you wake up. I love you, Jungwoo, thank you for spending another life with me,” Jaehyun let his tears fall, pressing Jungwoo even closer to him and gripping the younger’s hand even tighter before pressing a kiss on Jungwoo’s forehead as he stares at the moon once again 

\--

Jaehyun doesn’t know if the universe is with them or against them, because somehow it always makes a way for him and Jungwoo to meet, Jaehyun had given up the third time they had met, thinking that only death and despair is what he provides the younger.

He can’t bear it, he can’t keep hurting him and Jungwoo anymore, finding Jungwoo only to end up losing him again but living without Jungwoo is what death means for Jaehyun. He can’t, he’s selfish, but Jungwoo’s situation isn’t any different, in every life he had, he’d meet Jaehyun, in a predictable way, in an unwanted way, and sometimes even in a way that Jaehyun wishes they never really met, they’ll fall in love over and over again until Jungwoo leaves. But there’s one thing that only they can receive from each other, love. 

And that’s why no matter how many lives they spent loving and hurting each other, Jaehyun will always wish to meet the younger in every life he had. He’d still choose to fall in love with Jungwoo, as a Prince, as the son of a person who’s against the government, as a Painter, as the physically weak-hearted Jungwoo and, as a college student who wants to be a singer

Jungwoo has always been blessed with such talents, how he gracefully dances, every move’s fluid-like but clean and sharp, how he never misses a beat, how good his foot works are, how soft and serene his voice is, how velvety it feels on ears bringing calm to every listener, how Jungwoo’s voice can go from low to high pitches but still sounds as heavenly as he is 

“You did great, Woo,” Jaehyun ruffles the younger’s hair as Jungwoo pressed closer to the hand on his head 

“Thanks, I can feel my knees shaking though, I didn’t expect the crowd to be that big,” Jungwoo laughs sheepishly, embarrassment creeping in him as he realizes what he just did 

“But you still did great,” Jaehyun smiles at the younger, though how many lives Jungwoo had lived, he still doesn’t change, from appearance to his voice, to his movements, how soft his hair feels, how tall he is, and how he’s still the only one who can make Jaehyun’s heartbeat rapidly. Jaehyun had memorized all of Jungwoo’s attribute even more than the Jungwoo who’s standing in front of him

Jaehyun waited, he’ll always will, no matter how long or how many times he had to lost Jungwoo, Jaehyun knows he’ll come back, and that’s enough reason for him to wait, for him to not love anyone besides the younger because if he breaks that promise, then Prince Jungwoo’s sacrifice would go to waste and even though up until now Jaehyun still fails to protect him, he will still stay by his side until he can sacrifice his own life for Jungwoo too

Maybe it’s really just their destiny, to be alive, to fall in love, to fall apart, and if there’s one thing Jaehyun know that is never-ending is that Destiny can’t be changed because no matter how hard you fight for your own destiny, in the end, it’s all in god’s hand on how you will end

“I’ll treat you something tasty, what do you want to eat huh?” Jaehyun loops his arm around the younger as he pulls him away from the crowd who’s already watching another performance 

“You’ve been treating me so much these days, What are you on?” Jungwoo laughs but still obliged to the older 

“I can see how stress you are with college these days, it’s not much for me to treat my favorite person right?” 

“How do you even know I’m stressed?” Jungwoo pouts then look elsewhere but the older 

“I can see it all under the bags in your eyes,” Jaehyun teases 

“Hey!” Jungwoo shouts, always too loud but ended up laughing as Jaehyun presses him close, “Let’s just buy some chicken then we can eat at my dorm then maybe watch something,” Jungwoo suggested and Jaehyun, as always, never disagree with the younger 

“You know I didn’t really expect mechanical engineering to be this stressful,” Jungwoo laughs, plopping down the couch with a beer in his hands, because what’s the best partner for chicken? Beer, of course. 

Jungwoo knew he’s a lightweight but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop consuming as much beer as he like, especially now, college is stressing him out so much 

Jaehyun laughs at that, “You always say that every time though, and yet you manage to stay at top of your class,” 

“Right, top 2,” Jaehyun can hear the pitiful laugh that came out of the younger’s mouth “Why does college have to rank us anyways? We’re not in high school anymore, It’s so stressful that I feel like I could just die right now,” Jungwoo whines, sipping on his beer with such sophistication like he’s sipping wine out of a glass, a habit that Jaehyun thinks Jungwoo inherited from when he was a prince. Jaehyun though, however, turns to the younger with a serious look on his face “All I want to do is sing my heart out, pass college and get out of my father’s guidance,” 

“Then why don’t you?” 

“It’s actually not that easy,” 

Jaehyun draws closer to the younger, move from the other end of the couch to where Jungwoo is sitting so the younger couldn’t avoid his gaze “You know you don’t have to live to your father’s expectation as he wanted you to,” 

Jungwoo leans his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder, focus away from the movie “We both know I have too, though,” Jungwoo smiles against Jaehyun’s shoulder 

Jaehyun was almost fooled, his laugh feels so real, it sounds so real but he can see through Jungwoo, Jaehyun is sure Jungwoo might mean what he just said 

“I feel like the world is against me now,” Jungwoo’s voice was muffled as he buried his face in Jaehyun’s shoulder “I feel like Yukhei’s cheating on me,” Jungwoo whispers 

“What?” Jaehyun turned to look at the younger only to see the top of his head, Jungwoo unburied his face when he felt the older looking at him 

“I said—,”

“I hear you, what I mean is what makes you think so?” 

There’s a pout on Jungwoo’s lips like he’s debating whether he should tell Jaehyun or not “I saw him and Mark,” 

Oh, Mark, he’s hunting Jaehyun down again, the last reincarnation of him Jaehyun isn’t feeling good around the younger and that feeling didn’t change until now, maybe Jaehyun isn’t the only one bringing bad luck to Jungwoo or maybe he’s just saying that so he couldn’t feel that much burden for putting the younger through so much 

“...and?” 

“They’re uhm, _kissing,_ ” Jungwoo whispers the last part but Jaehyun can hear it too well “Ugh whatever! This is why I don’t want to date! Should I cry now? What an asshole, he’s the one who forced me to go on a date with him, and now he’s cheating on me!” Jungwoo huffed, head hitting the top of the couch 

It’s not that their relationship is that deep, it’s just a fling or what, dating until they got tired of each other but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt one bit, especially since Mark is Jungwoo’s best friend. Jaehyun knew the relationship Jungwoo currently had with Yukhei, he also knows that the younger had started to like Yukhei too, it affects Jaehyun of course because he thought that Jungwoo isn’t gonna fall in love with others like how he is but Jaehyun might have forgotten that Jungwoo doesn’t even remember a single thing about him until they met, so how could Jungwoo remember loving him? 

But Jaehyun vows to be by his side always, as a knight, as a librarian, as a companion, as a lover, and even as a friend. It doesn’t matter to him as long as he has Jungwoo by his side 

“I should just focus on getting that top one, dating is useless anyway, I still have to prove myself to my dad,” Jungwoo sighs, Jaehyun can feel that the younger doesn’t want to talk more about his relationship with Yukhei, and Jaehyun respected that, he doesn’t want to talk about it either 

-

Jaehyun pulls his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate against his thigh and he immediately sees a text from Jungwoo 

_‘Let’s go to my favorite café! >.< I’ll see you there, okay? <3’_

Jaehyun smiles at how cute Jungwoo is even at text, he’s so cute that Jaehyun could feel his heart exploding from so many different reasons that can only be caused by Jungwoo 

Jaehyun knows the café very well, it’s where he and Jungwoo first met, for this life he means, he doesn’t even remember how long he had lived but he’s sure this is Jungwoo’s fourth life, he can’t be wrong since he only counted himself being alive is when Jungwoo’s by his side 

The café is definitely Jungwoo’s type of aesthetic, full of white and gray and some hint of snoopy as a design, it’s not too bright despite the white walls and floor, the lighting gives a perfect lightning like it was coming from the moon despite being noon

“Jaehyun hi! Over here!” Jungwoo’s waving his hand towards the older, Jaehyun can notice that the younger ordered for them, already knowing what their favorites are because of how many times they’ve spent here

“So we’ve broken up, I mean not surprised to be honest,” _Oh_ , Jaehyun isn’t even seated down as much as Jaehyun wanted to hated himself for feeling happy, he can’t help but feel happy but like what he said, no matter what position he has in Jungwoo’s life, he’ll take it 

“How are you then?” Jaehyun sympathized with the younger, he can still see some sadness in Jungwoo’s eyes, well, they’ve spent almost three years together, it’s much more than the ‘not so serious’ relationship Jungwoo is talking about 

“I’m kind of getting the feeling when he missed three of our supposed dates, I just didn’t really expect it to be Mark,” Jungwoo sighs, sipping at his overly sweet Cappucino, “But I’m happy for them! Hope they’ll last,” Jungwoo chuckles, how fake is what Jaehyun thinks 

“You’re _still_ so bad at lying,” Jaehyun says “If you don’t want to talk about it, let’s talk about your exam then,” 

“Well, that...” Jaehyun can see a bit of hesitation from the younger 

“Jungwoo? Look, you don’t have to tell me if—,”

“I still placed second and I’m going home later for dinner so I wouldn’t be able to accompany you today, I’m sorry,” 

“Jungwoo it’s fine, you have nothing to be sorry about” Jungwoo lifts his head to look at the older male “I’ll probably come home later at midnight, I don’t want to stay for too long, my dad wanted to talk to me and I guess I know what will it be about,” Jungwoo chuckles, almost nervously if you’d ask Jaehyun but Jaehyun’s going to give the space the younger needed 

“Well okay, just call me if ever you need a backup,” Jungwoo laughs heartily at that

“Sure Hyung, I know you always got my back,” Jungwoo smiles at the older, Jaehyun hums, right, _always,_ even though you’re not here, I still got you, nothing will change 

-

Jungwoo wonders, how would you know if you are worthy of someone else’s love? Jungwoo believes he doesn’t deserve being loved, because if he does, his father wouldn’t make him feel like trash

“So you still placed second,” Jungwoo can see his father gripping his report card, he can almost see the paper tearing apart just from his father’s grips “This is such a shame, you can never beat Mark huh?”

“Dad, how can I beat Mark? We’re best friends...” Jungwoo tore his eyes away from his father when he turned to glare at Jungwoo instead of the paper he’s holding “No one should betray their friends,” Jungwoo’s voice gradually became softer 

“Are you even hearing yourself right now, Jungwoo? Betray? Isn’t he the one who betray you first?”

“But still dad! Mark’s my friend, I can’t do that to him,” Jungwoo exclaimed at his father “I’ve done my best! That’s all I can do, isn’t second alright for you?” Jungwoo almost cried out 

“Second?” His father laughs sarcastically, Jungwoo should get used to this, his father constantly pressuring him to become the best, to become number one and Jungwoo did nothing but to comply with him, until Jaehyun came, until he realizes he’s not happy with the person he’s becoming, until he’s not happy whenever he placed the best “I just want what’s best for you Jungwoo, that’s why I always want you to be number one, it’s not that hard to understand right?” 

“I’m not happy dad,” Jungwoo stared at his dad pitifully, he pitied himself, for not being able to stand up against his dad sooner, for not having the courage to go against him and do something that will make him happy, something that he loves, “I’m not even happy when you pressured me to be together with Lucas too, look at where we are now? He cheated on me, dad—”

“That’s because Mark is better than you,” Jungwoo gulped, he’s not mad, he’s not mad at his dad nor at Mark, “What’s wrong with you Jungwoo? Ever since you met that Jaehyun guy, you’ve started to mess up, your studies, your relationship with Yukhei,” 

Jungwoo can’t believe what his father is saying now, “I’m not messing up dad I just started to do things that are making me happy!” 

“Being happy won’t make you successful Jungwoo!” His father exclaimed, and Jungwoo starts to stare at him in disbelief, he can’t stand this anymore, his father, his words, all of his dad’s words stabbing him in the chest much more painful than a knife can do 

“But being happy makes me, me...” Jungwoo whispered once more before walking out of the house and away from his father who’s shouting for him to come back, to not be a disrespectful child but Jungwoo doesn’t dare anymore, he doesn’t care what his father will say anymore

Jungwoo reaches his apartment at the same time he received a message from Jaehyun

_Woo? Are you home already? How was it? Are you okay?_

Jungwoo smiled at the text, despite his eyes brimming in tears, holding back the droplets the he wanted to let out since his ‘confrontation’ with his father. Jaehyun always made him feel happy and free, Jaehyun always makes him happy more than his own father can do, Jaehyun had let him explore things Jungwoo thought he can never do, Jaehyun had always been there from Jungwoo ever since they met, never once leaving his side, never once betraying him and picking someone else over Jungwoo. Jaehyun had always made him his priority and now Jungwoo feels guilty for the thought he’s having, he feels guilty for the things he’s about to do 

_I’m sorry Hyung, I love you always remember that, okay? Thank you, don’t miss me too much huh?_

-

Jaehyun conclude Jungwoo might still be at his home, does his talk with his father ended the opposite way Jungwoo thinks? Does Jungwoo decided to just stay for the night and not come home? But that’s nearly impossible, as much as Jungwoo loves his father as much as he wants to spend time with him, Jaehyun knew that Jungwoo would rather travel from his father’s house back to his instead of hearing repeatedly the venomous words that jumps out of his father’s house when Jungwoo’s there 

He’s worried, he feels nervous all of a sudden, he felt like something wrong happened or would happen, Jaehyun isn’t sure but one thing is for sure, it’s that he can’t let the night pass without seeing Jungwoo because every time Jungwoo meets with his father, Jaehyun know it always didn’t end up well 

He texted Jungwoo, he realizes he’s either gonna follow him or try his luck and go to Jungwoo’s apartment, not an hour had passed and Jungwoo replied. The text had made him even more confused, what is he saying sorry for? Sorry for not being able to be with Jaehyun tonight like how they used to every day? Jaehyun already told him it’s alright and he understands, and why is he saying I love you all of a sudden? He knew Jungwoo’s affectionate but the younger doesn’t say I love yous that recklessly, Jaehyun wanted to reply that he loves him too, for years, longer than Jungwoo could ever be thought and live but Jaehyun thinks now is not the right time, the right thing to do right now is going to the younger as fast as he can 

Jaehyun would definitely drop by Jungwoo’s apartment first, because if he’s alone there right now, Jungwoo might do something he’ll regret, Jungwoo might do something that could break Jaehyun’s heart again. Jaehyun doesn’t want to think of the possible reason why the younger told him not to miss him that much because even when they’re together, Jaehyun misses him every day 

Jaehyun knocks at Jungwoo’s door, waiting for the younger to come and open welcoming him with his cheerful smile and comforting warmth but nothing came, so Jaehyun knocks again, much louder this time 

“Jungwoo, are you in there? Woo?” Usually, whenever Jaehyun calls for him, there’s always a soft hum that follows immediately, but right now, Jaehyun is only welcomed by the silence of the night. Jaehyun remember the spare key Jungwoo had given him back then, Jungwoo told him that he can come over anytime and since Jaehyun doesn’t have any family anymore, he should consider Jungwoo as one and his home can be Jaehyun’s too, but Jaehyun never uses it because he respects Jungwoo and his privacy and he never knows what Jungwoo might be doing inside all the time and even with consent Jaehyun doesn’t want to invade the younger just like that 

He thinks tonight is the right time to use it, right? He’s worried that if Jungwoo’s really inside, with the way his last text sounds, Jaehyun’s afraid he’ll do something stupid, something that will only pass the pain on him, on Jaehyun, because love is a never-ending happiness along with a never-ending pain

Jungwoo is nowhere to be found, he’s not in the kitchen, in the living room and, even in his own bedroom there’s only one place that Jaehyun hasn’t check, the bathroom, it’s lock and Jaehyun knows Jungwoo doesn’t lock any of doors inside beside the double lock he had in the front door, too comfortable in his own home that’s why he grew a habit of not locking any doors and that’s why Jaehyun knows not to just barge in whenever he’s in the apartment 

Jaehyun knocks, no one answered, but Jaehyun is sure that Jungwoo’s inside, he may not hear him but Jaehyun can feel him and Jaehyun knew he’s late the second he knock the door out and barge inside

Jaehyun wish he never witnessed this for the fifth time, Jaehyun wished he never felt Jungwoo’s blood in him for the fourth time, Jaehyun wished Jungwoo didn’t die without Jaehyun telling him he loves him for the third time

Jaehyun wished Jungwoo didn’t die in his arms for another time, blood flowing out of his wrist and rushing down the ground beside the blade lying on the floor 

Jaehyun doesn’t cry anymore, he just hugged Jungwoo’s body like what he had done before, whispering things the present Jungwoo couldn’t hear, saying I love yous Jungwoo couldn’t feel. It’s not the lack of love anymore that made Jaehyun didn’t cry, it’s the lack of tears to roll down and full of feelings to feel pain. 

Jaehyun hoped this is the last time that Jungwoo will die in his arms and Jaehyun’s gonna make sure the one who made Jungwoo miserably will pay, but could he let himself pay? When he’s aware that if it’s not for the forbidden love that formed between them, they’ll never have to go through several pains

But now Jaehyun didn’t regret landing his knuckles on Jungwoo’s dad face at Jungwoo’s funeral, they don’t like each other anyway and Jaehyun must accept that no matter what life it is Jungwoo’s father hatred for him will always be the same. 

It’s not the lack of respect that made Jaehyun do that, it’s the feeling of too much love he has for Jungwoo that he doesn’t care about anyone but him anymore and Jaehyun will wait for another year, decade and, even century for Jungwoo to come to him again. Jaehyun had done this several times before, waiting for another set of those wouldn’t hurt him as much knowing Jungwoo’s the one he’ll see in the end

\--

Jungwoo was late and now he’s running towards his university’s gate, If only Haechan wakes him up instead of just turning off his alarm then maybe Jungwoo wouldn’t be mindlessly running right now 

Jungwoo’s could still be at least close to the time if it weren’t for a male as tall as him but the body type’s opposite to his petite one knocks him on the ground “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” The male was crouching down to help him stand up 

_Oh, to be blessed with such a view early in the morning_ “I’m Jungwoo,” Jungwoo smiles even before he can stand up properly

There’s also an identical smile on the other male’s face, pair of dimples popping out of his cheeks “I know, I’m Jaehyun,” he lends his hand out that Jungwoo take immediately, shaking it gently 

Jungwoo wants to ask how did he know who is he but Jungwoo just concluded it must be his I.D “You should go, you seem like you’re running late,” The other smiles again “Let’s see each other more often,” Jaehyun left without another word not giving Jungwoo the chance to reply 

Okay, he’s handsome but he’s quite weird, not that Jungwoo’s complaining though, he still thinks Haechan is much more weirder than the male

Jungwoo reach the university gate at exactly 8:15 am, he’s already fifteen minutes late and he didn’t even get the male’s name. Jungwoo’s luck must be running out today 

“You can’t enter,” The guard at the gate stopped him

“As far as I know Mr. Lee, we could still enter the university even if we’re late,” Jungwoo beamed at the guard, trying to make his way past Mr. Lee using his charm

“I very much know that but you can’t enter without your I.D,”

“Huh?” Jungwoo looks down to see nothing dangling from his neck if he forgot to wear his I.D today, then why the hell does that Jaehyun guy know his name?

Jungwoo walks away pitifully from the university’s gate, fine, if he can’t come in then he’d rather hang out somewhere and miss two or three of his class, he doesn’t want to go to the class anyway. He pulled out his phone and texted Haechan to bring his I.D later when he got out for lunch, he’ll hang out at the nearest café in the university instead

When Jaehyun walks inside the café where he works at he’s immediately welcomed by his coworkers being lovey-dovey “Oh for the sake of God, it’s too early for this,” The couple only rolled their eyes at him 

“Suck up and your single ass, Jaehyun,” Taeyong laughs while Doyoung backs up his boyfriend’s statement “If I have a face like you, I would date whoever asked me to,” That statement made Taeyong’s brows furrowed though 

“You’ll date everyone that will asked you?” Taeyong looked at Doyoung offendedly and Jaehyun walks away from them, too early for their couple bullshit 

Jaehyun leaned against the closed door of the storage room, He feels himself tearing up, it’s been over three decades and he met Jungwoo again, he misses Jungwoo much more this time, he’s still the same Jungwoo he had loved from the start, he’s still the same Jungwoo who can’t remember him and yet throughout all those years or even centuries, Jaehyun’s loved for him never change 

“Jungwoo it’s been a while!” Jaehyun can hear Doyoung’s voice from the other side of the door, which made him wipe the almost falling tears from his eyes and immediately come outside 

“Oh, what’s with your eyes?” Taeyong asked but Jaehyun walk pass him to walk towards the cashier immediately, Taeyong’s eyes followed Jaehyun who’s walking faster than he’d even done to the counter, Taeyong smiles love at first sight? 

“It’s you again Mr. Jaehyun!” Jungwoo beamed leaning a little closer to the counter 

“Do you know each other?” Doyoung’s brows quirked, Jungwoo nods

“Not that much but we met earlier, I didn’t know you work here,” Jungwoo’s attention was once again on Jaehyun. Jaehyun doesn’t seem to find his confidence now, before, most of the time, he’s the one to approach Jungwoo like this, full of confidence and smiling brightly than he ever does but now Jaehyun can’t speak even a word, Jaehyun had waited for centuries for Jungwoo but this time, even with the much shorter time, he seems to miss and love Jungwoo even more, nothing change, he loves and loves Jungwoo, and Jungwoo forgets and forgets every life 

“I’d like some Ice Latte please Hyung, thank you,” Jungwoo tells Doyoung before looking back at Jaehyun “What time does your shift end?” Jungwoo smiles at him in the same way Jaehyun remembered, in the same way, it makes Jaehyun’s heartbeat way faster than it should be, and way quicker than could be considered normal but Jaehyun isn’t normal 

“Around 4?”

“Great! That’s when my class will end too, do you want to go on a date with me?” Jaehyun flushed, since when did Jungwoo became this confident and bold? 

“Woah easy there tiger, you’re so fast Jungwoo,” Doyoung laughs while pushing the Ice Latte towards Jungwoo 

“Oh right, do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?”

“No!” Jaehyun answers too fast earning him a stare of shock from Doyoung before it gradually turns into a teasing smile

“Or maybe not...” Doyoung whispers before leaving the two alone and approaching his boyfriend who’s laughing at how flustered Jaehyun looks 

“So is the date a yes?” Jungwoo asked hopefully, he doesn’t know the man, they barely know each other and they just met earlier when Jungwoo’s clumsy ass collided with him and fall but somehow Jungwoo can feel some sort of connection with him and he feels like he had known this man for all the lives that he lives and Jungwoo doesn’t want to miss the chance of getting to know Jaehyun more and the fact that he doesn’t have any lover makes it so much better to Jungwoo 

“Of course, It’ll be a yes, how could I deny you?” Jaehyun reply, slowly getting confidence when he thought that the Jungwoo standing in front of him right now is still the same Jungwoo he’d know for centuries plus the extra confidence that suits him more 

“Great! Now I have to go meet my mom! See you later Mr. Jaehyun,” Jungwoo smiles once more at him before exiting the café where Jaehyun is working 

Ironically speaking, never once in Jungwoo’s life did Jaehyun meet his mom, It’s always only Jungwoo’s dad that he met or heard of, maybe this fate is gonna be different from all of their fates before 

Jaehyun can finally breathe normally again, too suffocated with Jungwoo’s presence earlier, it’s not the bad type of suffocation but rather because he’s so happy but he can’t let it out because if he do Jungwoo might think he’s a weirdo and he’s not

“Jungwoo!” As soon as Jungwoo exits the café he caught the sight of his mom immediately “What did you do again to not be able to attend your class?” Jungwoo’s mom playfully slaps his butt while laughing at his son, Jungwoo’s mom is so carefree, she didn’t care about what stupid things Jungwoo will do, she’s never the manipulative type of mom, she’s always so supportive that’s my Jungwoo always pays her back with good grades no matter how much his mom told him not to pressure himself, the downside is just that Jungwoo is always late, he’s most of the time still allowed to attend class despite being late but he left his I.D at his shared apartment with Haechan that’s why he’s not able to 

“I left my I.D in the apartment that’s why I’m not allowed to go inside, Haechan’s bringing it later though,” Jungwoo pouts, though he’s sure his mom is not mad anyway, If it were his dad then maybe a child Jungwoo could get a beaten now, but his dad dies from a car accident back when he was fifteen and it’s a story Jungwoo doesn’t want to remember anymore and as evil, as it sounds, he’s glad they’re free from his father now

“What do you need me for today?” Jungwoo hooked his arm with his mother’s before gleefully walking down the street, he has time until his class at one but he has to meet Haechan before that because his roommate has a class at 12:30 

“I’m gonna go grocery shopping, there’s nothing left for me to eat at home and for Obok too,” 

“I miss Obok too,” 

“Then come home later, I’ll cook for you,”

“I have a date later mom,” Jungwoo blushed, but he’s open to talk everything with his mother, it’s just still topics like this is of course feels a little too weird to talk about 

“Date?” His mom teases, sending him a knowing smirk 

“It’s just a date mom! I don’t know what’s bound to happen soon,” Jungwoo playfully pushes his mom towards the entrance of the nearing supermarket

-

Jungwoo’s brain feels so drain but when the thought of his date suddenly pops upon his mind, Jungwoo can feel himself smiles up at the sight of Jaehyun at his university gate “Hey! Did you wait for long? I’m sorry, I’m the one who asked you out so I should be the one picking you up,” Jungwoo laughs 

“It’s fine, I want this date too so I don’t mind,” Jaehyun smiles, “So what do you wanna do first?” 

They ended up at the busy street of Seoul, street foods everywhere, and a lot of couples roaming the street, it was a perfect dating place. It might be too early for Jungwoo to say but his day was perfect, despite being late for his morning class, he got to meet the man beside him right now, who’s eating strawberry mochi and looking amused like he hasn’t tasted it before 

“How can this be so tasty?” Jaehyun said in amusement and Jungwoo can’t help but giggle at the older’s cuteness. On their way to the busiest street in Seoul, Jungwoo got to know more about Jaehyun, he now knew that Jaehyun is one year older than him and he was born on Valentine's day, how romantic. Jungwoo also got to know that Jaehyun never dated anyone that caught him in surprise because look at him, just look at him 

For a reason, Jaehyun feels oddly familiar to him, there is information about Jaehyun that seems like he knew at the same time he doesn’t know where it’s coming from and the fact that Jaehyun seems to know him already, maybe the older had asked Doyoung about him

“I still can’t believe this is your first ever date,” Jungwoo laughs 

“What’s wrong with waiting until the right one comes?” Jaehyun defended himself

“So do you think I’m the right one?” Jungwoo teases, his playful self taking older at the want to tease the older 

“You’ve always been the right person for me, Jungwoo,” 

Jungwoo flushed at that, “You do know that you sometimes said things that are out of context, right?” Jaehyun laughs, this Jungwoo either, can’t remember him

“Should we go? I should accompany you home,” Jaehyun disregard the younger’s statement

“You don’t have to though,” Jungwoo smiles, then Jaehyun as brave as he was take the first move at holding Jungwoo’s hands. The older doesn’t notice the younger freezing for a moment before coming back to him “I want to Jungwoo, let’s go,” 

Jaehyun drags him from where he can see a bus stop that would lead to Jungwoo’s dorm and Jaehyun notices Jungwoo’s suddenly quieter than usual he thinks that maybe it’s because Jaehyun holds his hand and the older was going too fast? But when Jaehyun was about to let go, Jungwoo held onto his hand even tighter and rest his head on Jaehyun’s shoulder

Maybe the younger was just tired, so Jaehyun let him be and just stare at the window, the night was prettier than usual, the moon was shining so bright above them that Jaehyun remembered every moment he has spend with Jungwoo, knowing that no one but the moon was the witness for his undying love for the younger, throughout Jaehyun’s lives, the company that never leaves him is the moon, the thing that reminded him the most about Jungwoo 

Jungwoo on the other hand felt something weird when Jaehyun holds his hands, there’s a series of memories that flooded through his brain, and Jaehyun was present in all of those and Jaehyun is calling him by his name. His head hurts from the sudden flood of memories that he thinks belongs to him. Jungwoo doesn’t believe when his mother is talking about how she can remember her past lives, he doesn’t believe in that but now Jungwoo might believe 

They stand in front of his apartment “It’s Wednesday tomorrow, I have no classes, are you free?” 

Jaehyun beams at that, feeling nervous earlier thinking that this life isn’t about to be like any other life, thinking that this time, Jungwoo might not let him in in his life “Sure, it’s my day off too,”

“Let’s just meet at the café you’re working at? Since it’s closer to the mall?”

“Yeah sure, anywhere you want,” Jungwoo smiles leaning a bit and placing a peck on Jaehyun’s cheeks 

“Thank you for making my day perfect,” He said 

“You were late earlier though,” They both laugh at that 

“But if I wasn’t I wouldn’t meet you right?” Jungwoo says, “It’s getting dark Jaehyun, be careful,” 

“See you tomorrow, Woo,” 

“See you tomorrow, Jae”

When Jungwoo entered the apartment he’s immediately welcomed by Haechan, “Hyung, are you okay?” 

Jungwoo can barely nod but he tries his best to not worry the younger, “I am, call me when you’re hungry so I can cook for you,” Jungwoo smiles 

“Thank you Hyung, and right! Taeil Hyung will be here later so we might just order something, I’ll call you when it’s dinner time!” 

“Oh, and make me the third wheel? Might as well call me when you two are done,” Jungwoo teases, and Haechan blushes 

“Well I’m still gonna call you, either way, It’s your choice whether you would go out or not,” Haechan rolled his eyes at the older 

“That’s the Haechan I know,” They both laugh then Jungwoo excuses himself that he’ll take a nap first except he didn’t get the chance to do that 

When Jungwoo entered the room the tears that were verging to fall since earlier can’t contain from falling anymore, Jungwoo leans towards the door, chest hurting physically that he found himself catching his breath because where the hell is all these memories coming from? Is it him? The one with Jaehyun all along? 

The one who got killed by his own father with the sword, the one who was killed because of his father, the one who dies because of a car accident and because his heart was weak, and because he takes his own life away? Did he leave Jaehyun for all those years? Leaving Jaehyun alone and suffering in such a cruel world, the only thing knows is to wait for Jungwoo to comeback?

Jungwoo remembers now, he remembers Jaehyun, how much he loves the older, how much the older loves him, was Jungwoo been selfish all this time? Because if it weren’t for him, Jaehyun wouldn’t have to suffer this long, because if he gave up from the start maybe the both of them aren’t suffering the same faith over and over again 

Jungwoo didn’t get to sleep that night, he didn’t even go out when Taeil and Haechan had called him before and after eating leaving the two to worry about him, he’s nervous, he’s scared, of how Jaehyun might react if he knows that he remembers now 

Jungwoo came to the café way too early, being welcomed by Doyoung and being bombarded by questions and how the date went on yesterday and asking him if he’s fine because he looks so tired and pale, the talk was all cut when Doyoung points at Jaehyun’s who’s on the other side of the road when he turns Jaehyun was waving his hands on him

He said his goodbye to Doyoung before exiting the café, Doyoung escorting him outside. Both of them freeze when in a blink of an eye a reckless drunk driver drove past them, past Jaehyun. Jungwoo doesn’t want to open his eyes when he heard Doyoung calling out for Jaehyun’s name, some people’s also gathering in the street and some even cars even blocked the driver’s path, forcing him outside his car for trying to run away from a hit and run 

When Jungwoo opens his eyes, he wished he just walked away yesterday when they met, Jaehyun was barely opening his eyes and that’s when Jungwoo run towards the male, taking Jaehyun into his embrace 

“J—Jungwoo,” There are tears in Jaehyun’s eyes, and blood in Jungwoo’s clothes just like how It is from the start Jaehyun’s suit filled with Jungwoo’s blood as Jungwoo cries in his arms 

“Shhh, I remember you Jaehyun, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry it took me so long,” Jungwoo cried out, focusing on the male in his arms as Doyoung calls for an ambulance, there could still be a chance Jungwoo thinks, if the ambulance can be here fast enough, they might prove their destiny wrong this time 

Jaeyhyun tries his best to smile “It’s all that matters now,” Jungwoo cried even harder than that “I love you Jungwoo, I—I still do,”

“I love you too Jaehyun please...” The younger pulled Jaehyun’s body closer to him, crying hysterically as he shouts for the older to stay awake and open his eyes, those are the last words that Jaehyun hears before he fully given up in Jungwoo’s arms, heart still wanting to fight but body struggling and giving up 

And just like how their love started with the moon, it ended with the sun


	2. The Alternative Ending

The Jungwoo he accidentally meets at the cruise ship on his way to Jeju, desperate to run away from his father and ended up being drunk at the ship’s bar, drinking a wine that’s too sweet for Jaehyun’s liking, and yet he had come to like too because it’s Jungwoo’s favorite, then they spend a day in Jeju, looking like lovers and feeling in love, the warmth of love spreading through Jaehyun only for it to be taken away as fast at it comes to him

The Jungwoo he visited every day in the hospital, his boyfriend for years that Jaehyun never got tired of taking care of, the boyfriend he bought flowers every day, knowing damn well it’s Jungwoo’s favorite and Jaehyun’s favorite is seeing his eyes shine while looking at them, the Jungwoo who always love staring at the stars and moon, not knowing that from the start, the moon is always there to witness their love for each other

This is his college best friend Jungwoo who had never known about his romantic feelings for him, this is the Jungwoo who’s born with more confidence that looks so great on him, the Jungwoo who isn’t shy to show off his talents, to show what he truly wants only for his father to ruin it every time 

His Jungwoo never change and neither is Jaehyun’s feelings for him 

“Jae?” Jungwoo brings him away from his thought, smiling at him so beautifully it makes Jaehyun’s heart hurt in a good way “I’m asking what are you gonna get,” Jungwoo laughs when Jaehyun blushed at being caught daydreaming 

“Oh, I’ll just get what you’ll be getting,” 

-

“Can we passed by the library first? There’s this book that I want to re-read and I might borrow it,” Jungwoo pulls him toward the biggest library in Seoul 

“Romeo and Juliet?” Jaehyun asked looking intently at the book in the younger’s hand, and he remembered, that night in the library, the first conversation they had there was about his book and how it reminded Jaehyun of the thing he and Jungwoo once had 

“Oh,” Jungwoo nodded, “I’ve read this before, and yet I want to reread it again, it somehow inspired me, to fight for someone you love, until the end, no matter how old you are, love is love,” Same book, different meaning, and Jaehyun had next found themselves outside the male, where people are freely performing, there’s a band a couple of people singing and some dancing around the are, it reminded Jaehyun when Jungwoo performed first in front of a crowd, too nervous and too excited and yet he manages to shine brightly, to perform beautiful like he’s meant to do that forever 

“Aren’t they so brave? Being able to perform in front of that many people? I could never,” Jungwoo laughs while Jaehyun is looking at him endearingly, it’s been a while since Jaehyun had seen Jungwoo laughing freely, it’s always either forced or fake but now, he looks completely happy in his life, with Jaehyun by his side and for the first time, Jaehyun doesn’t feel scared about losing him, his heart feels happy with the feeling of being able to spend a forever with him 

“You’ve done that before,” Jaehyun muttered, testing the waters and all the response he got is Jungwoo lightly squishing their intertwined hands and smiling at him, looking brighter than the sun that was shining above him, and if Jungwoo looks beautiful under the moonlight, Jungwoo looks way more ethereal under the basking sun 

“Oh right, I promised my mom I’ll see her again today, do you want to meet her?” Jaehyun was taken aback by Jungwoo’s suggestion, Jaehyun’s sudden wide eyes makes Jungwoo laugh 

“Why? Is it too soon?” Jungwoo asked and Jaehyun isn’t even recovered yet by the sudden implication of meeting Jungwoo’s mother today 

“Will your dad be okay with that?” Jaehyun’s always wary of Jungwoo’s dad every life because if Jungwoo doesn’t change every life he had, so is his father 

“He had passed away when I was fifteen, so he’s not a problem anymore,” Jungwoo smiles like he meant to, that ease Jaehyun’s mind. Jungwoo tightens the hold they have in each other’s hand “So, what about meeting my mother now?” 

Jaehyun doesn’t have the heart to disagree, and he’s not going to decline it anyway 

The bus that they rode to Jungwoo’s hometown stops in front of a supermarket 

“Let’s buy some food we can cook first,” Jungwoo giggles making the older smile, Jungwoo’s happiness being his first priority as always “I’m so excited,” Jungwoo looks back at Jaehyun “You meeting my mom, I’m excited,” 

Jaehyun’s heart flutters, for the second time, they’re making their relationship legal, It’s not that they’re in a relationship right now but that’s where they’re going to anyway right? And it’s not like Jaehyun’s gonna let go of Jungwoo in this life, not anymore 

“Me too, Woo,” 

Both of their lips feels like it’ll tear apart any moment now from how they’re smiling the whole day, are they complaining? Definitely not 

“I hope Pork Belly is still your favorite,” Jungwoo says as he inspects the meat with his own, always wanting the best for the one he loves. Jungwoo’s heart doesn’t hurt as much as it did last time he’s with the older, maybe because he had figured out what was the right thing to do and that’s not to leave Jaehyun anymore, no matter what happens, no matter what dilemma they may encounter, Jungwoo’s gonna fight with the older, he’ll never do the same mistakes he continuously done in his past lives, and that’s leaving Jaehyun alone 

Jaehyun doesn’t feel like he’s gonna burst anytime soon, his chest doesn’t hurt like he can’t breathe properly, he doesn’t feel scared anymore, he’s comfortable, happy and, loved, he’s sure that this time both of them will make this timing right

“This is my favorite among all the soju flavors they have,” Jungwoo smiles fondly at the bottle in his hands, Moscato flavored soju, Jaehyun can’t help but smile 

“You never change aren’t you?” Jaehyun said 

“And so are you, Mr. Jung,” Jungwoo says before turning back and walking away to the counter

Does Jungwoo perhaps remember everything now? Jaehyun doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he doesn’t want to hold onto details that might only be part of Jungwoo’s impression on him, but Jaehyun had hurt enough and hoping once more won’t hurt him as much now 

Is he nervous to meet Jungwoo’s mother? Of course, he is, though Jungwoo had continuously reassured him that his mother is just as good as him and Jaehyun believe that Jungwoo’s everything good in this world, or he’s just that in love but still, Jaehyun believe that, what makes him more nervous is this is the first time he’ll actually see Jungwoo’s mother, throughout his life, he never once see Jungwoo’s mother, there’s always the almost but they never did 

“Jungwoo!” The greetings that erupted on the scene bought Jaehyun back to reality again, “Oh, who’s this handsome young man with you?” 

Jaehyun flushed, Jungwoo’s right, his mom is as jolly as he is, maybe even more 

After Jungwoo had cooked for them, and a not so awkward moment between Jungwoo’s mom and Jaehyun, in courtesy of Jungwoo’s mom character trait like Jungwoo which is his nonstop talking and jokes, Jaehyun had found the both of them in Jungwoo’s childhood room when Mrs. Kim insisted for the both of them to stay over for the night because they enjoyed so much that they didn’t notice that it’s getting late

Ever since they got inside, Jungwoo feels more quieter than usual, he sat slowly in the bed, like he’s careful with every actions he’ll be doing for now 

“Jungwoo, Is there something wrong?” Jaehyun asked the younger as he stands in front of him while Jungwoo’s still looking down and not facing Jaehyun “Woo,” When Jungwoo look up, Jaehyun doesn’t expect the wetness in the younger’s eyes 

“Jungwoo, what—”

“How did you bear it?” Jungwoo sniffed, trying to control the tears that’s near to falling down. Jaehyun doesn’t need any more explanations, he clearly know what Jungwoo meant by that 

“I love you,” That’s enough words for both of their tears to fall down, and that’s also an enough reason for Jungwoo to understand 

“I love you too, I’m sorry it took me so long to remember you,” Jaehyun sits beside to younger to pull Jungwoo in an embraced 

“You love me, yes?” Jungwoo nodded, “That’s all that matters now,” Jaehyun smiled reassuringly at the younger, pressing a kiss at the younger’s forehead before ducking in to kiss at Jungwoo’s lips, the thing that he’s been wanting to do every time he’d seen the younger, he missed this, he’ll never let go of this, and this time they don’t have to hide, because everyone around them, accepts them for what they are 

“Here’s an extra blanket and—Oh,” That made the both of them separate, Mrs. Kim’s eyes widen before erupting into laughter and placing the blankets and pillow on the chair nearest to the door “You guys can continue, I won’t interrupt you anymore,” that made the both of them laugh and Jungwoo whining a _mom_

“I’m sorry sweetie, I promise next time I’ll knock first,” Jaehyun’s ears burn with the implication of next time 

He feels warm, he feels accepted, he doesn’t feel scared anymore, and what matters the most is Jungwoo lying down next to him, pressed against his chest as they both settle down, no other words have been exchanged since Jungwoo’s mom left, only a couple more kisses until they both ended up laying in bed that perfectly fit them both 

And once again, the moon that’s shining from Jungwoo’s window is the witness of their undying love for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tadah! they live happily ever after and Jaehyun's a normal human now :))

**Author's Note:**

> https://twitter.com/peachysnoo y'all can find me here!! <3 hope you like it!!


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